Speechless!!! No…not any more

Carving my first letters in the world of blogging is quite overwhelming.I feel like a toddler taking his first steps on earth…excited,yet afraid.Having closely seen two toddlers taking their first steps in the world, I can distinctly remember one of the unique feelings of this moment…a look of gratitude to the one who has carried the baby for a long time and is now there holding his hand and supporting his back against falling. Walking…blogging.I thought I will never experience that toddler's feeling; I walked my first steps long ago , and unfortunately, I cannot remember that day.I was mistaken…it seems.I have this feeling right now, and I even have someone to look at with gratitude.So, a toddler I am again! It feels good to be a toddler!

What to begin with?

A due thank you…to the one who has been to me as a mother is to a toddler.The story began on one of those dull days of March.I woke up from a long day slumber near midnight on a mobile ring from her.How did the ring awake me although my mobile was on the vibration mode?An enigma that I cannot solve! I called her and we talked for nearly an hour in my first real communication with her.Near the end of that memorable call, she told me about her blog:"Haven't I told you that I have a blog."…"A blog! What blog? No,of course you haven't."was my answer.I could not have forgotten such a thing."Ok, here is the link."Some more words…end of call.

At that time, all what I knew about blogging was its meaning, some news about the detainment of some bloggers and the bolg excerpt we translated, of which I only remember:

"في خزائني تقبع كل فروضي المدرسية"

I was under no illusion regarding the significance of that incident…someone to whom Iam mysteriously attracted is letting me into her world…her real world.I appreciated the gesture and considered it a beginning of a new friendship in my very small, yet very rich bouquet of friends.I expected a lot from that blog because I knew that person as a creative mind…a kind of an artist.My expectations, however, were somehow "shattered"!!!

I remember quite well the first time I visited that blog…that dear blog. Shocked…stunned…happy…proud…and much more.The question that was buzzing in my mind is how far human beings ignore each other, how far we fail to appreciate the people that we talk to and sit beside, how mistaken we are when we think that we understand each other…and when we think that we understand ourselves, how far we are from real communication, how masked we are!!!

The problem is not limited to that dear friend and her dear blog, but it extends to the dilemma of human communication for which and by which we live.

Back to my experience in the land of Epitaph…yes …it is nothing but a land. The problem I had to face in the following days was how to approach that friend after the blog revelation. The thing I really wanted to do was to look deeply into her eyes to try to find the things I could not see before, but now know that they are there. I could not have that deep look at that time ,but I won it later and realized that the one I knew in "real" life and the one I knew in the blog easily identify…everything is there in the eyes, but it is us who fail to see it until we are provided with some light.

Then, the revelations did not stop.Visiting that blog became almost a daily activity. And everyday I discovered new things… there was a lot of laughing…but there were also tears…and both were relieving.

That was my story with that blog…and the revelations are still ongoing.

My intention was to say thank you to that unique girl, but I had to say all that to arrive at the thank you point.And now, having arrived at that point, a thank you does not seem to be enough, yet it has to be said.Thank you for arousing in me the belief that expression is worthwhile. To you I dedicate my first steps in the land of blogging… you who taught me not to be SPEECHLESS any more.